Kids can be like technology. Perhaps it should be the other way around since I am fairly certain that children came before computers. Anyhow the connection is this. We all know how frustrating computer and projectors can be. We hook up the computer to the projector correctly but when all is turned on...NOTHING. The screen is blank, the projector does not register what the computer is trying to say and we are left staring at the blue screen of death. Children can be like that or atleast the 80 kids who I am responsible for teaching the Gospel to. You prepare in advance, you use all the tricks you know, but in the end nothing is registering.
Today I taught two of my hardest classes. They are hard for very different reasons. Gad is our first and second graders. They are talkative and energetic and young. It is difficult unto impossible to impress the gravity of what I am presenting. They also suck the energy right out of you. If I give 150% of myself, they might give me half of their energy and even that is thinking really positive. I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted after teaching them. But there are those moments when I can see in their faces that something got through, that they understood something. I do not always know what but something and I pray that such a seed grows someday.
Asher is the 6th through 8th graders. Middle school years are really difficult. They are so used to people talking to them, they are apathetic, and there are so many barriers. All the time I used to prepare materials was wasted (well not totally wasted). I ended up doing some shooting from the hips and presenting the Gosoff the top of my head. But again I say some seeds planted. There is a feeling of inadequacy in working here. You really do not feel like you are making any impression in anyone's lives. But I preached the Gospel and I pray that the Lord takes those seeds he planted and cause them to grow. I need to learn to trust and not want it all instantaneous. That is my latest discovery about myself. I need to learn trust. I guess the whisper in this post is actually from myself.
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Mark, keep working. You're getting through, even if you don't think you are. They're listening. Kids are hard to work with, and you figured out really quickly which are the hardest. 1st and 2nd graders DO suck the energy right out of you - but they HEAR. When you're not looking for it, they'll spit something back at you and you'll realize that they did hear! I'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteBTW - did you take your tea things with you to New Jersey?