So I have not posted in a while. There is much that can be said in the past 10 days. First of all, I have seen the ocean for the very first time in my life. Last week Saturday a couple of us were supposed to go kayaking in Jersey City but it turned out that we could not. Instead myself and another intern went to Brooklyn and went to the ocean. It was a perfect beach, not to many people and late in the afternoon. I enjoyed it...maybe not the salty skin but oh well. While driving back we also found the greatest diner in NYC...the cornbread diner. It was delicious. Last weekend was one of those times where the Lord blesses you with relaxation after a long and emotional week.
This week has been hectic but by this time I have become used to it. I really do enjoy this city and the rhythm of life that exists here. I do not know if I could survive Manhattan but here in Jersey City I like it. I enjoy walking the streets even though it is tough. There are homeless people. This week I have taken to feeding one in particular. I went to Dunkin Donuts a couple times for breakfast (We ran out of milk and more importantly coffee). I simply bought two corn muffins instead of one and passed it out to a man who sleeps behind the fruit stand. I do not know what that does to his day, if it makes it better or if people handing him food is a normal occurrence. It is easy to become callous here to things that happen. There are arguments on the streets every day. I hear them all the time...including last night outside of my window about 1 in the morning. You tune them out. There are homeless people everywhere, and drunks too. Again how easy it is to tune them out. I struggle with what should be our answer. I cannot help the dozen or so people I saw while walking the streets of Manhattan yesterday. But how do I prevent myself from becoming callous about it?
In the suburbs you hear about how easy it is to ignore because you do not see it. We do not see poverty, or the homeless. There is not much drug dealing on the corners, or drunks walking the streets. Well I do see it alot here but I am overwhelmed in how I can help and the response is...to ignore it. Isn't it interesting how the response is the same whether you see it or not?
Christ was right when he said the poor you will have with you always. But I cannot find it in the Bible where he says "since they are with you always you can ignore them." Having read the Bible through a couple of times I think it says something different. Check out Amos 5. There is some strong words said about God ignoring the praise of the Israelites. Why? Because while their words of praise was right, they were ignoring the poor. Many of the laws in the Torah are so that there will be no poor in Israel. When they ignored those laws and the poor, God ignored their songs of praise. Wow...that should make us blush a little.
So what do we do? I still do not know really. I started by buying a few meals for a person, it is not much but maybe a beginning. If we truly have compassion, we should not be ignoring the poor and needy. This means more than just money in the collection plate. It means having the courage to stop and feed an individual. Compassion and love show itself in so many ways and the littlest love can change everything. It is easy to ignore but Christ did not ignore us (for that I am literally eternally grateful). How do we reflect love and hope to those who need it especially? It must be more than a collection plate. It must be more than flyer. People do not respond to words but to acts of love, love that reflects the greatest love. We cannot help everyone but does that mean helping no one? Lord teach us compassion. Amen.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Shakspeares hiding out with Tupac
I was quoting Shakespeare last night and one of the sailing students asked if Shakespeare was dead. The immediate retort from another student was "Nah man, he's hiding out with Tupac". It was a perfect dry cynical reply...I could not help but laugh. This morning was no laughing matter.
I woke up this morning at 6 to a helicopter that sounded as though it was landing in my room. No joke it was literally 250 ft perhaps away. As I looked outside you could not miss the police presence...more than you could count. Weird enough it did not phase me and I tried to go back to sleep (a couple of weeks ago, the police presence would have definitely gotten my attention). I was about half asleep when I heard a noise mixed in with the air conditioner.
This morning at 5 someone took a pot shot at a cop and ran into an apartment about a block away from where I live. At 6:45 the police stormed the place and the two people shooting at the cops were killed. Some cops were also hurt.
This event would have stopped a neighborhood cold back home. Here people are slightly callous about it. Not that is does not effect them but this is frequent here. Shootings happen, and sometimes everyday for a while. When you sit back and think about it, it really strikes you about how messed up this world can be. I do not understand Jersey City enough to make an opinion but I wonder if being callous and making jokes is people way of covering up fear and trying not to think about how broken our world is around us.
There is no such thing as not being affected. When major events and pain happen around us it effects us. How do we cope? I have learned some excellent triggers for various people in my life. If they say something or do something...something is going on. I do not know how people here cope but they have to. The question always is...do we cope in a healthy way or not. That maybe one of the hardest parts of counseling...teaching people to cope in good ways. I think I saw some good and bad this morning.
I coped by actually preaching the gospel to a bunch of middle school children. We had shorten blocks today because we started late because of the shooting, but my 3rd block was cathartic. I talked about being teachable. I compared David and Bathsheba to the story of Naboth's vineyard. When I said that when we choose my way over God's way, there is pain. My way causes pain to me or others. David killed a man, so did Jezebel. I think I connected to them...they know they world is not right and there is a lot of anger and pain. When I said that God's way is not like that...I made them think...and planted some seeds...and spoke through my own emotions from the morning. These are amazing children here, full of life and potential. I do not want to see them choose to become like this person this morning who shot a cop and paid with his life. Amen.
I woke up this morning at 6 to a helicopter that sounded as though it was landing in my room. No joke it was literally 250 ft perhaps away. As I looked outside you could not miss the police presence...more than you could count. Weird enough it did not phase me and I tried to go back to sleep (a couple of weeks ago, the police presence would have definitely gotten my attention). I was about half asleep when I heard a noise mixed in with the air conditioner.
This morning at 5 someone took a pot shot at a cop and ran into an apartment about a block away from where I live. At 6:45 the police stormed the place and the two people shooting at the cops were killed. Some cops were also hurt.
This event would have stopped a neighborhood cold back home. Here people are slightly callous about it. Not that is does not effect them but this is frequent here. Shootings happen, and sometimes everyday for a while. When you sit back and think about it, it really strikes you about how messed up this world can be. I do not understand Jersey City enough to make an opinion but I wonder if being callous and making jokes is people way of covering up fear and trying not to think about how broken our world is around us.
There is no such thing as not being affected. When major events and pain happen around us it effects us. How do we cope? I have learned some excellent triggers for various people in my life. If they say something or do something...something is going on. I do not know how people here cope but they have to. The question always is...do we cope in a healthy way or not. That maybe one of the hardest parts of counseling...teaching people to cope in good ways. I think I saw some good and bad this morning.
I coped by actually preaching the gospel to a bunch of middle school children. We had shorten blocks today because we started late because of the shooting, but my 3rd block was cathartic. I talked about being teachable. I compared David and Bathsheba to the story of Naboth's vineyard. When I said that when we choose my way over God's way, there is pain. My way causes pain to me or others. David killed a man, so did Jezebel. I think I connected to them...they know they world is not right and there is a lot of anger and pain. When I said that God's way is not like that...I made them think...and planted some seeds...and spoke through my own emotions from the morning. These are amazing children here, full of life and potential. I do not want to see them choose to become like this person this morning who shot a cop and paid with his life. Amen.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
planting seeds and hearing some startling whispers
Kids can be like technology. Perhaps it should be the other way around since I am fairly certain that children came before computers. Anyhow the connection is this. We all know how frustrating computer and projectors can be. We hook up the computer to the projector correctly but when all is turned on...NOTHING. The screen is blank, the projector does not register what the computer is trying to say and we are left staring at the blue screen of death. Children can be like that or atleast the 80 kids who I am responsible for teaching the Gospel to. You prepare in advance, you use all the tricks you know, but in the end nothing is registering.
Today I taught two of my hardest classes. They are hard for very different reasons. Gad is our first and second graders. They are talkative and energetic and young. It is difficult unto impossible to impress the gravity of what I am presenting. They also suck the energy right out of you. If I give 150% of myself, they might give me half of their energy and even that is thinking really positive. I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted after teaching them. But there are those moments when I can see in their faces that something got through, that they understood something. I do not always know what but something and I pray that such a seed grows someday.
Asher is the 6th through 8th graders. Middle school years are really difficult. They are so used to people talking to them, they are apathetic, and there are so many barriers. All the time I used to prepare materials was wasted (well not totally wasted). I ended up doing some shooting from the hips and presenting the Gosoff the top of my head. But again I say some seeds planted. There is a feeling of inadequacy in working here. You really do not feel like you are making any impression in anyone's lives. But I preached the Gospel and I pray that the Lord takes those seeds he planted and cause them to grow. I need to learn to trust and not want it all instantaneous. That is my latest discovery about myself. I need to learn trust. I guess the whisper in this post is actually from myself.
Today I taught two of my hardest classes. They are hard for very different reasons. Gad is our first and second graders. They are talkative and energetic and young. It is difficult unto impossible to impress the gravity of what I am presenting. They also suck the energy right out of you. If I give 150% of myself, they might give me half of their energy and even that is thinking really positive. I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted after teaching them. But there are those moments when I can see in their faces that something got through, that they understood something. I do not always know what but something and I pray that such a seed grows someday.
Asher is the 6th through 8th graders. Middle school years are really difficult. They are so used to people talking to them, they are apathetic, and there are so many barriers. All the time I used to prepare materials was wasted (well not totally wasted). I ended up doing some shooting from the hips and presenting the Gosoff the top of my head. But again I say some seeds planted. There is a feeling of inadequacy in working here. You really do not feel like you are making any impression in anyone's lives. But I preached the Gospel and I pray that the Lord takes those seeds he planted and cause them to grow. I need to learn to trust and not want it all instantaneous. That is my latest discovery about myself. I need to learn trust. I guess the whisper in this post is actually from myself.
Monday, July 6, 2009
"Do you think he plans it all out or does he make it all up as he goes along?"
Today was the beginning of Summer Camp. Today a bunch of tired, restless, then suddenly energetic kids flooded the Church. But my day started before they arrived. It started at 7 this morning arranging furniture, practicing skits for class and doing devotions. All a normal part of preparation. What was not normal is the state subsidized food truck not arriving on time. What was not normal is being given the keys to Pastor Trevor's van , a roll of cash, and being told that we need breakfast for 100 kids in 20 minutes. I broke some speed limit laws, and maybe a few others as well. But My roommate and I succeeded in buying cereal and milk and juice for 100 kids in 20 minutes. I am proud of myself and my road rage.
I have noticed that many people like plans. We plan out our day (sometimes to the minute), we plan out our meals for the week, we plan out the next five years...it doesn't happen here. I do not know why many of us insist on making such extensive plans. Maybe that is how we control the world around us, give it a semblance of normalcy, maybe that is just how we cope with what life has given us. There are maybe as many reasons as there are people, but Jersey City is not plan orientated. They are people orientated. The men and women that I meet here place a greater emphasis on connecting with others relationally than making an appointment. While I come from a culture that has no problem saying "I have to go in order to make something else", here many would not only consider it rude but actually insulting. It is food for thought; where is relationships with people on our list of priorities. Is being there for a meeting really more important than this person who needs someone to talk to me? Maybe we should be more aware of our messages that we send in our words and actions, even if our culture says that such words and actions are fine. Culture is a hard thing to decipher, but just because it says something is right doesn't make it so. Maybe this is one area where we should be willing to scrape our plans for someone else.
I found it interesting that during training the new interns including myself were told if something does not go according to plan, that is normal. Do not get upset, do not get irritated, just move on think of something new, always have something to do as a second option and roll with the punch. I expect that I am going to learn how to roll well this summer. I look forward to it, even though with all that rolling I expect to become dizzy.
I have noticed that many people like plans. We plan out our day (sometimes to the minute), we plan out our meals for the week, we plan out the next five years...it doesn't happen here. I do not know why many of us insist on making such extensive plans. Maybe that is how we control the world around us, give it a semblance of normalcy, maybe that is just how we cope with what life has given us. There are maybe as many reasons as there are people, but Jersey City is not plan orientated. They are people orientated. The men and women that I meet here place a greater emphasis on connecting with others relationally than making an appointment. While I come from a culture that has no problem saying "I have to go in order to make something else", here many would not only consider it rude but actually insulting. It is food for thought; where is relationships with people on our list of priorities. Is being there for a meeting really more important than this person who needs someone to talk to me? Maybe we should be more aware of our messages that we send in our words and actions, even if our culture says that such words and actions are fine. Culture is a hard thing to decipher, but just because it says something is right doesn't make it so. Maybe this is one area where we should be willing to scrape our plans for someone else.
I found it interesting that during training the new interns including myself were told if something does not go according to plan, that is normal. Do not get upset, do not get irritated, just move on think of something new, always have something to do as a second option and roll with the punch. I expect that I am going to learn how to roll well this summer. I look forward to it, even though with all that rolling I expect to become dizzy.
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