Eating Some Humble Pie

I understand why crazy people become pastors. You stand up in front of a crowd every week and proclaim a message from God...and they have to listen, its religious...They see you in a fine clothes, they admire your words, and if it is a good message they always say thank you or "I will remember that one". If you are narcissistic person...this is the perfect job for them. And if you are a normal joe like me...it is a struggle stay humble. It is natural to think when people congratulate you for doing something well...to be affirmed and to think well of yourself. You think "hey I did this, I am talented"...And the same thoughts happen when you get off the pulpit, and someone says that you did well. Does this mean that you shouldn't thank a pastor for an excellent sermon? No, because I have been affirmed by Stratford CRC in so many ways. They have invited me into their homes, they have enjoyed my company, and they have let me know when I am doing a good job. And I can definitely see that pastors need affirmation, they need to be told when they do well. But I also need to be humbled and continue to be humble...Last summer I realized that I would not drastically change anyone's life overnight...it was a sad thought when I realized it and I was quite bitter about it for a while. I realized yesterday the same thing. I don't think that a sermon I gave has ever dramatically changed a life...And I am always surprised when someone comes up to me and says "I really like when you talked about so and so" and what they reference was a minor point or just a random sentence.
I realized yesterday that no matter what I say...if God is not working...I am just babbling for 20 minutes. And that was a humbling thought. But also a comforting thought, because it means that I am not alone but God is working. But that also means that everything I do should and must be done in prayer...and I am still learning that
I am entering into a profession where humility is a necessity and one that for me will always be a struggle. I know for myself, I need to be affirmed but also told without God, you're just more words in a world already to full of people talking.